Traditional Chinese wedding customs have been around for thousands of years. They may vary from place to place and time to time, but have been holding an important position in the lives of Chinese people, causing a far-reaching impact on the way the Chinese lead their lives. A wedding is usually a grand occasion with overly-elaborate formalities.
Matchmaking
Matchmaking is a process of making a match of unmarried man and woman by a matchmaker, which is a common way of choosing spouse in ancient China. The traditional Chinese wedding is much involved with “matchmaker”, or in other words, marriage introducer. In Zhou Dynasty several thousand years ago, the post of “official matchmaker” was set up for management of marriage, supervising and urging young people of nubile ages or widows and widowers to marry. Later, the meaning of “matchmaker” extended to all persons or events that act as a go-between of marriage between two families.
Birthday Matching & Auspicious Day Choosing
The record of a person’s horoscope indicates the sun’s position at the time when the person was born. Therefore, based on the record and the five-element theory, the person’s characters and future life can be foretold. In ancient times, when a man and a woman got engaged, they would have their horoscope records deduced to see if their marriage would be happy. The deduction result could either be “matching” or “conflicting”.
If the engagement is confirmed, then an experienced person will be invited to choose a proper date for the wedding ceremony. The chosen date is believed to be an auspicious one.
Sending Dowry & Betrothal Gifts
When the two families agree to the marriage, the man’s family is supposed to send some betrothal gifts to the woman’s family. The gifts mainly include clothes, jewelry, gold, silver and money etc. In former times, a gilded silver coin bearing the word “qiu” (meaning “proposal”) was among the gifts, indicating the man’s proposal. The woman’s family would send back another coin bearing the word “yun” (meaning “agreed”), indicating their consent to the proposal.
Dowry is the property a woman brings with her to her husband’s home. In the past, dowry was mostly clothes, quilts, bath basins, foot basins, washbasins (washstands), cabinets, tables, chairs, tea sets and tableware etc. In some cases, rich families would include fields, mountains and forests in the dowry to show their wealth. With the foundation of new China and the opening-up and reform, dowry has become increasingly diverse and modern.
Sitting in the Bridal Sedan
In former times, rich families would use a bridal sedan to welcome the bride, while poor families which couldn’t afford a sedan would use a cart instead. Whether a sedan or a cart, it was customarily accompanied by a piping and drumming procession. There were set rules over the route, with the return trip never being the same as the departing one. Meanwhile, the two trips should be carried out anticlockwise, with the departing trip to the right and the return one to the left. If two trips were repeated, people generally would think that the couple would only have boys and no girls, or the other way round.
Performing Formal Bows
Performing formal bows by the bride and bridegroom is also called “worshipping the heaven and earth”. Actually, it includes bowing to the heaven, earth, ancestors, parents and the bride and bridegroom bowing to each other. Before the ritual, candles, incense, memorial tablets or portraits of ancestors should be placed in the main hall, where there are grain buckets stuck with the character of “double happiness” holding various grains, peanuts and red dates etc. Then, candles are lit, incense burnt, firecrackers exploded and music played.
Lifting the Bridal Veil
Also called “veil” or “square veil”, the bridal veil is an important article for the bride at the wedding. Before going to the wedding at the bridegroom’s home in a sedan chair, the bride has her head covered with a veil. After performing formal bows, a concentric flower ball-shaped pulling ribbon is knotted using the two red silk tapes provided by both families, with each end of the ribbon held by the bride and bridegroom respectively. The bridegroom then faces the bride and walks backward, leading the bride into the bridal chamber, where the ceremony of lifting the bridal veil will be held shortly afterwards.
Drinking “cross-cupped wine”
Drinking “cross-cupped wine” is one last interesting custom in the bridal chamber before consummating. The bride and the bridegroom each holds a wine-filled cup, standing face to face, with their cup-holding arms crossed and drinking from each other’s cup. The cross-cupped wine symbolizes the previously two separate individuals are joined as one by the wedding.
Bridal Chamber Pranks
It’s an important part of a traditional Chinese wedding originated in the Qin and Han dynasties in order to drive out evil spirits and bad luck for the newlyweds. Today, the Bridal Chamber Pranks has become more of a game to add to the fun of wedding and a way to express the guests’ blessings. Usually, the guests crowd into the bridal chamber to tease the newlyweds after the wedding banquet and raise a revel in the chamber. In some places this is also called “heating the chamber”. Often the couple are mischievously asked to hug or kiss each other in public, or sometimes invited in a more civilized way to read a poem, sing or make couplets. The tricks usually vary in different places.
Visiting the Parental Home
According to ancient customs, three, six, seven, nine, ten days or one month after the wedding, the husband should carry some gifts and visit his wife’s parents’ home, greeting her parents and relatives. This is the last ceremony of the wedding and also a way for the daughter to show her gratitude to her parents for the love and care they give her. Meanwhile, it is an occasion for the new husband to send his thanks as a son-in-law. The ceremony is also an indication of the couple’s happy marriage.