No more gifts for the holidays.

No more gifts for the holidays.

Oh the holidays that time of the year when we all agree to be happy at all cost we give each other lovely gifts we travel long distances to see each other we spend a lot of time together enjoying some good food watching movies long chats well into the

Night really is that how it all pans out does this fantasy we all buy into really translate into happiness not for us the anxiety stress and sheer cost of it all over time stepping foot into the mall became draining the massive crowds the loud music the insane craziness all the

Effort finding the right gift for every friend and family member spending tons of money only to end up with a ton of stuff we ourselves didn’t want incredibly energy consuming to have people over cooking for them attending to them cleaning up after them exhausting for what we started asking

Ourselves doing all the stuff we didn’t want to in order to please others so Sicilia and I set out on a journey of sorts to reinvent the holidays and make them work for us independent of traditions and others expectations the focus became what matters the most during the holidays well connecting with

The boys was at the top of the list spending quality time bonding as a family in whatever way made the most sense we explored making gift giving more fun by incorporating games eventually giving a presence alt together in exchange for alternative meals and travel to interesting places

Well that’s easier said than done when you’re going against the grain of tradition being seen as uncaring or as scrooges we were definitely met with resistance along the way but we had to be true to ourselves otherwise we’d end up being resentful and most definitely unhappy year after year many many years

Before my parents had created a treasure hunt for my sister and and I at the start of summer a series of notes hidden throughout the house one leading to the next where we would uncover a small gift at each step of the way inspired by that idea I started my own yearly treasure

Hunt tradition Christmas morning would start with some basic gifts along with a coded note and instructions for where to start an involved search throughout the house would ensue whereby they would pick up Clues to help them decot the note and find out where their big gift was

Located what a fun process I was both for them and for me the first year it was written notes and audio messages that I would burn on cdrom over time these hunts got more and more sophisticated I would add video little coded apps that I would create HTML

Pages all to engage them as much as possible and build the hype up to the big finale I would put hours into these things to see them enjoy these games so much and the expression on their faces when they finally discovered their big payoff was priceless the time came when the boys

Finally outgrew my treasure hunts and as sad as it was to see an era ending it was time for something new we decided Sicilia and I to completely eradicate gifts across the board for anyone on any occasion gifts always felt like a burden to me we enjoyed them with Sicilia for

Many years early on and then later with the boys when they were young but to find presence for others every friend family member even amongst ourselves every event year after year became a huge pain in the ass again obligation as opposed to doing something when you feel

It from the heart not because of an actual day and because you have to the decision was tough not everybody bought into it there was definitely an adjustment phase but then it became the new normal we wanted new and meaningful activities independent of the material stuff so we got into alternative meals

At the end of the year the four of us participating making and badas raviolis and devising other odd holiday menus with our usual puzzle making and other family games it made for some real memorable times for a few years we celebrated with the boys by taking them

On an epic travel Adventure in 2015 we did a nice sweep through the East Coast New York Boston Maine and up through the eastern part of Canada we really dug Montreal and Quebec City and started saying hm we really like this European flare what if we moved to Canada

Creating a domino effect I think that eventually got us to France the following year we did a sweep through the UK and the Republic of Ireland more Everlasting memories were forged only possible by not doing the typical traditional standard thing speaking of creative ideas for how to spend quality

Time with loved ones I am so thrilled to have skillshare as sponsor of this video skillshare is an online community full of amazing classes that can help you expand your horizon and Inspire new ideas if you also want to be more present with those around you and connect in meaningful ways you’ll want

To check out their astonishing array of coursework skillshare is an incredible place for inspiration when it comes to new or existing skills you can learn things entirely from the ground up or refresh what you already know this includes helping you come up with great ideas when it comes to creating arts and

Crafts cooking together and so many other ways of bonding in an engaging way and right now the first 500 viewers to sign up using the link in the description below will get a one-month free trial of skillshare that’s one entire month to watch as many classes as

You want what a great way to kick off the year exploring your own creativity thank you skillshare once again for sponsoring this video the boys are older now and things have shifted again so we’re on the hunt again for ways to come together and have special bonding times we’re all in

Europe now making it all a lot easier and though spending many days together is no longer possible or we risk killing each other we’re trying to imagine what it might look like to hit the road again as a family and spend time in different combinations it’s not a requirement that

We be together all the time that’s how Sicilia and I grew up this All or Nothing proposition we must always be together we’ve come to discover that spending time with one or two other people at a time creates a different more connected experience where you’re able to focus more on one another so

Once again we’re an adap ing mode looking for best and ideally alternative ways of hanging out together last year it was a few days in Paris in Nathan’s Place enjoying the city Cecilia’s amazing cooking playing games making music and puzzle making as always now it’s a few days here in the countryside

Which is insane for me to be saying it’s so surreal to actually be hosting the entire family here in France we have many future Gatherings and trips to look forward to involving girls girlfriends eventually wives eventually grandkids but one thing is guaranteed our constant Reinventing how we connect with one

Another in ways that mean something because at the end of the day that’s what really matters the most cheers and wishing you your own creative and meaningful holiday season with your loved ones and that you choose not to settle for what doesn’t feel right happy Holidays

The first 500 people to use my link will receive a one month free trial of Skillshare: https://skl.sh/beneaththesurface12231

I hope you are celebrating the holidays on YOUR on terms.

It took us some years, but we would have it no other way…

If not, don’t fret. There’s always next year. 🙂

Happy holidays!

Find me here on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/be.neaththesurface

#holidays #happyholidays #gift #gifts #giftgiving #present #presents #givinggifts #givingpresents #vacation #familyvacation #travel #traveling #familytime #familygames #bonding #traveltogether #alternativeholidays